Integrated Essay

Gina Luurtsema
Professors Paulo & Adriana Ribeiro
IDIS-150-07
24 January 2011
Work Count: 1,909

When I signed up to take the C.S. Lewis DCM (Developing the Christian Mind), I figured we would read the Chronicles of Narnia, discuss it a bit, and then watch the movies. Boy was I wrong. This class challenged me in ways I didn't know were possible. Many days I left class with a headache from thinking things over so thoroughly! The three hours I spent in that classroom everyday allowed me to discern and reckon with things that had never crossed my mind before. Over these few short weeks I feel like I've become more of a threat intellectually to the outside, chaotic world.
Many of the readings helped me in one way for another but I don't have the time (or patience) to include every single one. The first essay I'd like to reflect on was oddly enough the first reading of the class, called Meditation in a Toolshed. I love the picture that C.S. Lewis paints in the beginning of his meditation when he describes the stream of sunlight shining in the dark shed. I can see the dust particles floating and practically feel the heat of the suns rays. As he describes that two points of view, I can picture myself in a dark shed of my own experiencing the two angles. Continuing to read, I kept asking myself, "do I look at or along?". The answer I found was that it depends on the situation. I don't think you can live a fulfilled life with only one or the other. You need both an understanding and a personal experience to fully appreciate the ordeal (no matter what the thing is). The order in which the two different types occur can vary from person to person. But obviously, the two ARE related to one another. The example Lewis used to show how you cannot live with just one of the views was pain. "A physiologist, for example can study pain and find out what that it 'is' (whatever is means) such and such neural events. But the word pain would have no meaning for him unless he had 'been inside' by actually suffering. If he had never looked along pain he simply wouldn't know what he was looking at". For me that's a very powerful point because who am I to judge someone else's life style or choices when I've never looked along? I believe that as Christians we are called to use both angles.
For me, the first reading also tied into the last one (Problem of Pain chapter 6) The example of the physiologist and the two angles of pain really allowed me to dig deeper into Lewis' book on pain (specifically human pain). Oddly enough through the whole reading I found my mind wandering to the question as to why pain even exists? I mean I understand the fall, but why pain? The answer I came up with was evil. Because of human kinds spoiling of shalom, evil came to be. We as a human race have decided to live against God, each other, and God's world. As a result of this rebellion, sin, pain, and other unpleasant qualities exist on this "groaning" earth. God never wanted it to happen like this. Yes He gave us free will and He wants us to make the decision to follow and love Him but He (I'm assuming) initially wanted it to go a different route. I'm not saying that God had no say in the matter because obviously He could've prevented to fall if He wanted to but we let Him down. Does that mean the Lord is punishing us for our mistake? No. We must face the consequences of our own actions.
This is where Plantinga come in. The second chapter of his book Engaging God's World was written about the fall. This chapter was a great reminder for me. So often when we talk about sin and the fall I get depressed because I feel like those things bog us down and make us miserable. But, what Plantinga said on page 49 hit me; "Human life is not the way it's supposed to be". This also fits in with the Longing and Hope chapter from earlier in the book. We as humans aren't meant for this earth, but for something much better. During our life time here we will never be fully satisfied because we have a thirst for something eternal: life with the Creator. It's such an encouragement to know that we won't have to suffer under sin and evil forever. Someday our chains will break and we will be set free!
Another interesting point made was the fact that, "... evil needs good in order to be evil". You don't usually picture evil and good going hand in hand but (at least in this world) you can't have one without the other. We as humans also have both qualities inside of ourselves. Aleksandor Solzhenitsyn puts it this way, "If only there were evil people somewhere, insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?". There is no way to vanquish sin (until to coming of our Lord). Many may blame the entrance of evil into the world on Adam and Eve when we probably would have all done the same thing. We as a human race have corrupted all the good things God has given us. But remember, He has/will redeem them for good.
Thankfully, the story of our race has a happy ending: Redemption. Plantinga assures us of this in his fourth chapter. It's hard for me to actually wrap my mind around redemption. I mean, I know what it is but I feel like I can't fully appreciate it because I don't entirely know what complete redemption consists of. I can see glimpses of shalom here and there but we won't be completely exposed to perfect harmony until Christ comes back again. That being said I feel like it becomes easy to split our world into sections. The "holy section" and the "non-holy section". Plantinga refutes this very well; "The world isn't divided into a sacred and a secular realm, with redemptive activity confined to the sacred zone. The whole world belongs to God, the whole world has fallen, and so the whole world needs to be redeemed -- every last person, place, organization, and program". What a comfort to know the He will redeem every square inch of His creation. The earth will groan occasionally and we will suffer throughout life but we have an anchor in the storm: Our Lord and Savior!
The final sentence of the chapter really articulated with me. Plantinga ends with these words: "Christians seek wisdom because it helps us find and follow our vocation within the kingdom of God, which has 'come near' but has not yet 'come home'". Before I came to Calvin and even still today I pray about the plans for my life. I feel God calling me in a certain direction but what if it's only my selfish desires telling my to take that path? How can I tell the difference? I guess the only answer I can think of is I have to do what's in accordance with the Word. Only then can God's kingdom come close. But, I get so easily frustrated when God doesn't talk back to me. I want to do what He wants but how can I if every time we talk it feels like a one-way conversation? For now I guess I just have to be content, patient, and trust that He has a plan far greater than mine. I also believe that finally someday, His kingdom will come home forever. In a strange way, I'm almost excited that I don't fully grasp the concept of redemption, that way I will have no expectations. And even if I did, I know the Creator of the Universe would blow them out of the water.
Plantinga ends his book with a chapter about Vocation in the Kingdom of God. This reading was probably the one that hit closest to home for me. I know that vocation can involve every part of life and not just the college years but especially as a college student, I can't help but think about vocation and God's calling towards my future career. To be honest, I'm still not completely sure what He wants me to do, but I feel like that's part of His plan. If I knew exactly what my life held, where would my dependence on Him go? Probably out the window. He's not a cruel God that's trying to hide things from me, He's a loving God that wants me to trust Him.
As far as careers go, God calls us to be more than just an engineer, teacher, or doctor, (etc) but to be a sister, student, spouse, or friend... "This isn't a job that appears on any government list of occupations, but it is a calling from God, and it is surely a contribution to the kingdom on God". The kingdom of God (also known as the kingdom of heaven) is mentioned quite often in this chapter and I'd like to dwell on that for a little bit. 'Malchut ha-shemayim' also means the kingdom of heaven. The direct translation is: where the kings influence/authority is respected, and the sky or heavens. Now this is not an actual place. Where ever we do God's will is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 6:10 is the second part of the Lord's prayer that says: "your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven". This may seem like just a simple line that we've been told to memorize since we were young but it's actually such an encouragement. My discipleship teacher in high school told us to insert a "when" between 'come' and 'your'. With that it says, "your kingdom come, when your will is done on earth...". The Lord's prayer says that when His will is done on earth, His kingdom will come. Plain and simple. Now, understanding that isn't so difficult... it's the doing that makes things tough. The only encouragement I can give you is that we know the final chapter. We know that chaos does not prevail over shalom and His kingdom. Rejoice in the fact that the final victory is ours.
These few readings by C.S. Lewis and Plantinga only skim the surface of everything we discussed in our class over interim. Many of our talks brought up concepts and ideas that were new and interesting to me. Having the opportunity to learn and engage in such a welcoming and healthy yet (intellectually) challenging environment really allowed me to diminish doubts and fears about the future, set my true beliefs deeper in stone, and realign my life with Him.

　
　

Works Cited

Lewis, C. S. "Chapter 6: Human Pain." The Problem of Pain. San Francisco: Harper San Francisco, 1940. Print.
Lewis, C. S. Meditation in a Toolshed, God in the Dock; Essays on Theology and Ethics. Grand Rapids. Eerdmans, 1970. Print.
Plantinga, Cornelius Jr. Engaging God's World. Grand Rapids. William B. Eerdmans, 2002. Print

"The Problem of Pain"

When I think about pain and the way CS Lewis talks about it, I'm reminded of the first essay we read; Meditation in a Toolshed. In that meditation Lewis mentioned pain and how until someone has looked along pain, they can't truly comprehend it. A psychologist cannot say that pain is only nerves sending synapses to the brain. Pain is also "any experience, whether physical or mental, which the patient dislikes".   
Even though I have only read a chapter from Lewis' book on pain, I feel like I have a better understanding of the subject. Oddly enough through the whole reading I found my mind wandering to the question as to why pain even exists? I mean I understand the fall and even reading Plantinga's third chapter (of Engaging God's World) was helpful  but why pain? The answer I came up with was evil. Because of human kinds spoiling of shalom, evil came to be. Adam and Eve, (along with the rest of us) have decided to live against God, each other, and God's world. As a result of this rebellion, sin, pain, and other unpleasant qualities exist on this "groaning" earth. God never wanted it to happen like this. Yes He gave us free will and He wants us to make the decision to follow and love Him but He (I'm assuming) initially wanted it to go a different route. I'm not saying that God had no say in the matter because obviously He could've prevented to fall if He wanted to but we let Him down. Does that mean the Lord is punishing us for our mistake? No. We must face the consequences of our own actions.   
While re-reading that last paragraph, I realized how "Debbie downer" it sounded. I apologize :) Here comes the happy part... redemption is coming! We've talked about redemption many times over the past two weeks in class but for me it never gets old. I forget the exact words but I remember Plantinga saying in his book that this life is not what God intended for us. We're supposed to be with Him for eternity, that's why nothing here can fully satisfy us. How encouraging! Pain and sin are only temporary chains. Soon enough we will be set free. Forever.

"Vocation"

Plantinga's last chapter of Engaging God's World hit close to home. I know that vocation can involve every part of life and not just the college years but especially as a college student, I can't help but think about vocation and God's calling towards my future career. To be honest, I'm still not completely sure what He wants me to do, but I feel like that's part of His plan. If I knew exactly what my life held, where would my dependence on Him go? Probably out the window. He's not a cruel God that's trying to hide things from me, He's a loving God that wants me to trust Him. 
As far as careers go, God calls us to be more than just an engineer, teacher, or doctor, (etc) but to be a sister, student, spouse, or friend... "This isn't a job that appears on any government list of occupations, but it is a calling from God, and it is surely a contribution to the kingdom on God".   The kingdom or God (heaven) is mentioned quite often in this chapter and I'd like to dwell on that for a little bit. 'Malchut ha-shemayim' also means the kingdom of heaven. The direct translation is: where the kings influence/authority is respected, and the sky or heavens. Now this is not an actual place. Where ever we do God's will is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 6:10 is the second part of the Lord's prayer that says: "your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven". This may seem like just a simple line that we've been told to memorize since we were young but it's actually such an encouragement. My discipleship teacher in high school told us to insert a "when" between 'come' and 'your'. With that it says, "your kingdom come, when your will is done on earth...".  The Lord's prayer says that when His will is done on earth, His kingdom will come. Plain and simple. Now, understanding that isn't so difficult... it's the doing that makes things tough. The only encouragement I can give you is that we know the final chapter. We know that chaos does not prevail over shalom and His kingdom. Rejoice in the fact that the final victory is ours.  

"Man or Rabbit?"

For me this was probably one of CS Lewis' most straight forward essays. He got right to the point and I understood what he was trying to get across. This whole meditation is in response to the question, "Can't you lead a good life without believing in Christianity?". Lewis starts by stating that yes, non-Christians and Christians alike are both capable of living a good life. "But sooner of later the difference of their beliefs would produce differences in their practical proposals". It's impossible for a Christian and a non-Christian to live the same life. Lewis then makes a great point by stating that only someone who is contemplating Christianity would be asking such a question. This person is just a lazy coward (according to Lewis). They're not really trying to figure out how to live a good life, they just want to have a good life without the commitment to Christianity.  In a sense, this person wants the 'best of both worlds': a good life with no commitment to the ways a Christian ought to be. I think that as humans sometimes we are afraid of commitment, no matter what we're commiting to. Lewis describes it perfectly: "He is like the man who won't look at his bank account because he's afraid of what he might find there". This person is trying to deny the facts! It's clear that the Christian way of life is the path that is meant for us. "... And if it isn't, then what the door really conceals is simply the greatest fraud, the most colossal 'sell' on record". If Christianity is just a big joke and the Lord doesn't exist then how did we all get tricked into buying it? My senior year in high school I took a bible class about defending the faith. Of all of defenses (like the dead sea scrolls etc) one stood out to me: the fact that the disciples (and every martyr since then) was willing to DIE for what they believed. If our faith wasn't/isn't real, would those people have died to protect and defend what we have today? I don't think so.    

"The Inner Ring"

Today's reading really challenged me. It's so easy to get caught up in trying to get into a certain circle that you forget your purpose. By 'circle' I mean group of people you want to be associated with or relate to. Lewis describes this "dilemma" of rings very well: "...one of the most dominant elements is the desire to be inside the local Ring and the terror of being left outside".  We as humans want so badly to fit in with the people around us. We thrive on the appreciation, acceptance, and adoration given by others. It's terrifies us to think about being alone or unwanted. When we belong to a group, we feel important and valued as people. One longs so deeply to fit in that "Unless you take measures to prevent it, this desire is going to be one of the chief motives of your life". This made me wonder.. is trying to fit in everywhere I go a goal in my life? Of course when I started waitressing last summer I felt like I needed to become one of the "them" (the waitresses) or else work wouldn't be much fun. Freshman year of college I found a solid group of people I call my friends and I'm still close with them today. Now, there is nothing wrong with belonging to a group (or even many groups for that matter) but, the problem occurs when belonging to a group consumes you and you become a different person to fit the mold of a certain ring. That thought fits perfectly with my last quote from CS Lewis. He says, "The quest for the Inner Ring will break your heart unless you break it". We shouldn't be driven by the need or want to fit in with a certain clique. If that's what motivates you, you will be easily broken. Your real motivation should come from the Lord. Life is hard and people won't always like you. This may sound harsh but if life wasn't hard at some points, the happy and enjoyable times in life wouldn't be worth near as much.

"The 4 Loves"

I don't think I've ever put in as much time thinking about (Eros) love as I did today. I feel like I'm still too young (and maybe immature) to know what love really is. One idea that I had never thought about until listening to CS Lewis today in class was the fact that we need to love people. This seems like such a simple concept and yet it can be terribly hard. It's easy for us to love the pleasure or happiness a person can bring to us, but not the person themselves. This concept was a great reminder for me in my own life. I need to appreciate and love the people around me for who they are, not for what they can do for me. 
Out of the whole discussion today, one quote stood out to me. It went something like this, "love ceases to be a demon when love ceases to be a god". At first I didn't completely understand what that meant... but as I thought about it longer, a light bulb came on. Especially for people who don't know the Lord, love towards someone/something or even love itself can consume a person and become their number one priority. When this happens, love becomes a god. In this context love is a demon because it takes the place of the real Lord and distracts us from what truly matters. Love in the right context is a beautiful thing, created by God and meant to be enjoyed. But one must be cautious that it doesn't replace the Creator of love Himself. 
Finally, Lewis ends with a beautiful picture of love (passion). He describes it as a garden that provides life, happiness, and beauty. He does add one word of caution though.. he reminds the listener that you can't expect the garden to weed and take care of itself. The gardener needs to tend and look after it. The same goes for love. It takes hard work, patience, and persistence to keep a healthy 'love' relationship going but if you stick with it, the end result will be magnificent and well worth the effort.

"Redemption"

It's hard for me to actually wrap my mind around redemption. I mean, I know what it is but I feel like I can't fully appreciate it because I don't entirely know what complete redemption consists of. I can see glimpses of shalom here and there but we won't be completely exposed to perfect harmony until Christ comes back again. That being said I feel like it becomes easy to split our world into sections. The "holy section" and the "non-holy section". Plantinga refutes this very well; "The world isn't divided into a sacred and a secular realm, with redemptive activity confined to the sacred zone. The whole world belongs to God, the whole world has fallen, and so the whole world needs to be redeemed -- every last person, place, organization, and program". What a comfort to know the He will redeem every square inch of His creation. The earth will groan occasionally and we will suffer throughout life but we have an anchor in the storm: Our Lord and Savior!
The final sentence of the chapter really articulated with me. Plantinga ends with these words: "Christians seek wisdom because it helps us find and follow our vocation within the kingdom of God, which has 'come near' but has not yet 'come home'". Before I came to Calvin and even still today I pray about the plans for my life. I feel God calling me in a certain direction but what if it's only my selfish desires telling my to take that path? How can I tell the difference? I guess the only answer I can think of is I have to do what's in accordance with the Word. Only then can God's kingdom come close. But, I get so easily frustrated when God doesn't talk back to me. I want to do what He wants but how can I if every time we talk it feels like a one-way conversation? For now I guess I just have to be content, patient, and trust that He has a plan far greater than mine. I also believe that finally someday, His kingdom will come home forever.
In a strange way, I'm almost excited that I don't fully grasp the concept of redemption, that way I will have no expectations. And even if I did, I know the Creator of the Universe would blow them out of the water.

"Learning in War-Time"

This reading was initially a sermon that Lewis preached to a church filled with students from Oxford University. His main intention was to discuss whether during the war people should set everything aside and help the war efforts or continue on in "normal" life. Is it okay to sit in class all day learning while millions of people are dying on the other side of the earth? Lewis' goal is to answer this question. He starts by stating the obvious, something that I think many people tend to forget: "Life has never been normal". We are mistaken if we compare war with 'normal life'. I really liked what CS Lewis said regarding war: "... war creates no absolutely new situation: it simply aggravates the permanent human situation so that we can no longer ignore it". War is part of our life. We must deal with war and consequences of the like because we have fallen into sin. This doesn't mean that we treat war like it's nothing, but we also shouldn't hold it to such a high degree. 
Lewis then goes on to talk about knowledge. One line in particular that stood out to me in the reading was on the third page, third paragraph: "An appetite for these things (knowledge and beauty) exists in the human mind, and God makes no appetite in vain". This means that our hunger for knowledge comes from the Lord. He wants us to learn, He wants us to want to learn. If you feel called by God to be a doctor or a missionary or an English teacher then go for it! When you have a vision of what God wants you to do and you have a passion for that thing, once you're disciplined, action will follow and I'm sure you'll be blown away by the things He can do through you.     
As for Lewis' answer to the beginning question? I think he said it best in the last paragraph: "But if we thought that for some souls, and at some times, the life of learning, humbly offered to God, was, in it's own small way, one of the appointed approaches to the Divine reality and the Divine beauty which we hope to enjoy hereafter, we can think so still".

"The Poison of Subjectivism"

This reading was a tough one for me to understand completely so hopefully I got the right idea. Webster defines subjectivism as "a theory that limits knowledge to subjective experience". To me this means that when we argue with one another we justify differences of opinion by saying, "well, you're a Christian (or fill in the blank) so that's why you think that". We are all born and raised in traditions or beliefs and that's why subjectivism works. It's not a good thing do to, but it works. I really liked one of the things Lewis mentioned; "Real moral advances, in fine, are made from within the existing moral tradition and in the spirit of that tradition and can be understood only in the light of that tradition. The outsider who has rejected the tradition cannot judge them". Those of us who don't know or understand the sacrificial killings in sub-Saharan Africa have no right to judge those people. Some of them may have been raised in the culture and know of nothing else. Now that is an extreme example but this also applies on a smaller scale. Luke 6:42 is a good reminder of how we should act: "How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye".  Now, Luke is clearly not talking about sawdust here... He's talking about judging others and their faults without even seeing your own. All of us have sinned and fallen short (Rom 3:23). Not one of us is less of a sinner than the other. This being said, we are called to treat everyone with great respect and love. Only after doing so can subjectivism cease to kill.
Another quote I liked was, "If water stands too long it stinks". This may seem like a strange quote to appreciate but I think of it as a challenge to Christians. When we become stagnant in our walk with God we can begin to smell too. It's important that we don't become content with where we are with Him. It difficult to be continually moving forward as a God follower but no one ever said being a Christian was easy.   

"The Fall"

This chapter was a great reminder for me. So often when we talk about sin and the fall I get depressed because I feel like those things bog us down and make us miserable. But, what Plantinga said on page 49 hit me; "Human life is not the way it's supposed to be". This also fits in with the Longing and Hope chapter from earlier in the book. We as humans aren't meant for this earth, but for something much better. During our life time here we will never be fully satisfied because we have a thirst for something eternal: life with the Creator. It's such an encouragement to know that we won't have to suffer under sin and evil forever. Someday our chains will break and we will be set free! 
Another interesting point made was the fact that, "... evil needs good in order to be evil". You don't usually picture evil and good going hand in hand but (at least in this world) you can't have one without the other. We as humans also have both qualities inside of ourselves. Aleksandor Solzhenitsyn puts it this way, "If only there were evil people somewhere, insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?". There is no way to vanquish sin (until to coming of our Lord). Many may blame the entrance of evil into the world on Adam and Eve when we probably would have all done the same thing. We as a human race have corrupted all the good things God has given us. But remember, He has/will redeem them for good. A verse of encouragement comes to mind:
"I have told you these things so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world". John 16:33 

"Mere Christianity"

Lewis makes many good points in his book Mere Christianity but there were a few that stood out in my mind. The first would be his comment about choosing a church or congregation to stick with. Lewis says, "... the question should never be: 'Do I like that kind of service?' but 'Are these doctrines true: Is holiness here? Does my conscience move me towards this? Is my reluctance to knock at this door due to my pride, or my mere taste, or my personal dislike of this particular doorkeeper?'". This hits home with me because I'm a PK and over hear many of the complaints of my dad's congregation. The older people of our church want organ and hymn while the younger people who are trying to reach out, wear jeans and want a drummer. There's no way to satisfy both parties and then everyone's unhappy... I think that everyone's just being selfish. The answer to those problems is simple, do whatever will better further the kingdom. It's not about us! It's about those who are still not reached. What my church and others like it need to do is ask themselves 'what will bring holiness and virtue to the church community?'. When they figure that out, that's what they should do. 
Chapter one of Lewis' book goes into depth about right and wrong and the Law of Human Nature.In this case, the 'law of nature' is not what you think it is... it's the ability for a man to choose either to obey the Law of Human Nature or to disobey it. These "laws" are not written but in a sense 'programed' into us. We know what's right and what's wrong. Towards the end of this chapter Lewis says, "Whenever you find a man who says he does not believe in a real Right and Wrong, you will find the same man going back on this a moment later.  We know that it's wrong to take someone elses life, and we know it's right to tell the truth. What I find interesting is that it's not just Christians who know this, it's everyone. I'd like to think that someday, everyone will know Jesus too.      

"Spiritual Fitness"

Today in class I shared a verse that has taught me a lot over the past few years. 1 Timothy 4:8 says "Exercise daily in God-- no spiritual flabbiness, please! Workouts in the gym are useful, but a disciplined life in God is far more so, making you fit both today and forever" (The Message). I really liked this passage because I feel like it speaks personally to me. Being in a college sport (or theatre group or choir etc.) takes a lot of time and commitment. That being said, I spend a good majority of my time at the gym. The question I ask myself is, "do I spend the same amount of time reading my Bible or praying?" No. Never. I'm not nearly as committed to my relationship with God as I am to Volleyball... and it's just a game! I have to constantly remind myself that being disciplined in my relationship with God will keep me in shape forever, not just in the here and now.   

"Screwtape Letters: 12"

During my senior year we were required to read the 'Screwtape Letters' in our English 4 class. Little did I know that book would make such an impact on me. First of all, I find it so intriguing that CS Lewis would write a book from the devil's point of view. It took me awhile to figure out that "the Enemy" was actually God! It was so eye opening to see what's going on in the real enemies head. The first part that grabbed me was the fact that Screwtape was pleased to hear that Wormwood's "patient" was still a church goer. I feel like that would be considered a bad thing for the devil... but as I continued to read I learned that Screwtape wants attendance in church, prayer, and the Bible to become a habit. Not a habit that we enjoy but a habit that we've been doing for so long we no longer have a passion for it or even remember why we're still faithful to it. This thought resonates with me because sometime I get like that in my walk with God. I go to church because that's what I've been taught to do. It's a habit for me, not something that I get pumped for. I guess I want to challenge myself (and others) to not let our worship or relationship with God become a thoughtless habit.
The other thing that hit me was Screwtape's last paragraph of the letter that says, "the only thing that matters is the extent to which you can separate the man from the Enemy... Murder is no better than cards if cards can do the trick. Indeed the safest road to hell is the gradual one-- the gentle slope...".  That in itself is scary to me. Screwtape is saying that the way to steal a soul is not through one drastic experience or decision, it's the mindless little pinpricks that separate us from God without us even being completely aware of it. Skipping a church service or Bible reading here and there is exactly what Satan wants! Slowly we wander so far from the shepherd that we can't hear his voice anymore. The encouraging thing is that even if we do wander, He'll go looking for us and will not stop until we're found.  

"Creation"

Plantinga's chapter held so many different topics that it'd be impossible to go into depth about all of them in just one post so I'll just cover what struck me. First of all, I never really contemplated why God made the universe. I like what Plantinga said when he stated, "Creation was a way for God to spend himself". It wasn't that God was bored or felt like gambling on a thing called the human race. He wasn't lonely and He didn't need a world. Creation is not an accident or some random thing that just happened... "Creation is an act that was fitting for God. It was so much like God to create, to imagine possible worlds and then to actualize one of them. Creation is an act of imaginative love". I loved what GK Chesterton said about construction and creation. Though both are loved, only creation is loved before it comes to exist. God loves us! Of course this should be nothing new to you but it's incredible to think about all the same. When I was little my parents would always tell me, "I love you soooo much but you know what? God loves you even more". I never really understood that concept until recently... we are made in HIS image, we have all fallen short but he sent his only son anyway to pay for our mistakes. That in itself is the definition of selfless love. 
Another point that I really appreciated was the fact that creation is temporary, but God is not. Seasons change, the earth ages and begins to crack/fall apart, creatures are born and creatures die: our world is constantly changing. There is only one thing that remains the same... our Lord. Overalls and middle-parts may go in and out of style but He is unchangeable. The song 'Indescribable' by Chris Tomlin comes to my mind. Here is the final chorus: 

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
Incomparable, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God

Amen :)  

"The Weight of Glory"

It's interesting to see Lewis' change of opinion over his message (at least about the definition of glory). He states that at first he viewed glory as fame or luminosity, a competitive passion of hell. But as he continues to look into the matter, he discovers that glory is a fame with God, a approval/appreciation by God. Lewis then gives a great example of being a child. "no one can enter heaven except as a child; and nothing is so obvious in a child-- not in a conceited child, but in a good child-- as it's great and undisguised pleasure in being praised". That's the type of glory we need. The type of glory that in a sense says, "God, look at how good I did!" or "Aren't you proud of me?". In order to obtain this glory one must also desire it. "Glory, as Christianity teaches me to hope for it, turns out to satisfy my original desire and indeed to reveal an element in that desire which I have not noticed. By ceasing for a moment to consider my own wants I have begun to learn better what I really wanted". Today more than ever we all suffer what is know as the 'I want' syndrome. I want what will benefit me, I want what will make me happy, I want ____ (fill in the blank). Think about how big of an impact we would make if we shifted our gears a little bit. What if we asked for patience, kindness, self-control...? This world would be a much different place. One thing CS Lewis said really stuck with me through the whole reading. He said; "These things-- the beauty, the memory of our own past-- are good images of what we really desire; but if they are mistaken for the thing itself they turn into dumb idols, breaking the hearts of their worshippers". I love the picture here. Lewis points out that if our desires become the desire itself it will consume us and leave us empty handed and unfulfilled. This reminds me of the "Longing and Hope" chapter in Plantinga's book. Even if we achieve our desires and longings, we'll never be completely satisfied. Only Christ can give us what will truly quench our thirst.     

"Our English Syllabus"

When I hear the words "education" and "training" I usually think of school or tests. Rarely do I think of those two words as very different things. CS Lewis continues in the meditation to show you how education and training are not the same. He believes that both are important in development of the mind but it can become dangerous when training starts to take over. Lewis says, "That is why education seems to me so important: it actualizes the potentiality for leisure, if you like for amateurishness, which is man's prerogative". In other words, education is so much more than a geography test... it also gives you life skills like leisure (reading, writing, painting etc). 
Next Lewis addresses knowledge. He explains that all humans thirst for knowledge and that knowledge is food for the mind. I really like the picture he paints here. So often I feel like I have to go to school because I need to be educated. Now I know that that is true but deep down I also have a longing for it. God created us with incredible minds and it makes perfect sense that the desire for knowledge comes hand in hand with that. Once we understand the need for knowledge the question is, what do I want to do with the knowledge I'm going to obtain? Lewis says it perfectly on page 87: "The proper question for a freshman is not 'what will do me the most good?' but 'what do I most want to know?'".   I'm a sophomore and coming into Calvin I had no idea what I was supposed to do.. so I went with what interested me and I think I'm headed down the right path. If you have a passion for what you're learning you will make it in college no matter what major you decide.
Finally, I'd like to end with one last quote: "...a perfect study of anything requires knowledge of everything". That line really hit me when  I read it because it reminded me of all the core one has to take at Calvin. Yes I despise some of the classes and they can feel useless at times but really they are shaping me into a well-rounded individual. The thought of having a "wide base" in the work world today really made sense to me. The classes I take now are making me more of an asset later in life so I can do nothing more but be thankful for my education and training.

"No Right to Happiness"

Mr A left Mrs A for Mrs B who deserted Mr B as well. It's really sad to think about how common this sort of thing actually is. 50% of first marriages end in divorce.. and the rates just go up for the second and third marriages. How could we let this happen? Marriage is supposed to be a life-long commitment, for better or for worse til death so us part. You can't walk away just because your spouse doesn't make you happy 100% of the time and you have a "right to happiness". In this essay, Clare (who Lewis is debating against) believed that Mr A had a legal AND moral right to do what he did. CS Lewis does not believe that people have an unlimited right to happiness. He makes a good example by stating that you can't excuse an alcoholic just because he or she is happy when they're drunk. I really liked what Lewis had to say following the debate that "the absence of happiness excuses divorce and behaviors of the like". 
"... It's an offense against honesty. Mr A's action is an offense against good faith (to solemn promises), against gratitude (toward one whom he was deeply indebted) and against common humanity". 
Just because you're 'in love' with someone for a time doesn't mean you'll love them forever.. and then what? Do you leave again to find someone else who will make you happy for a time? Lewis says that this is the trait of a coward. If everyone went around doing only the things that made them happy our world would be out of control! We cannot live that way. I believe that our constant need for short-term happiness reveals our sinful nature and internal issues with contentment. I'm not sure about others but being content is something I truly struggle with. When I was younger I couldn't wait to be in college and now that I'm here I sometimes want to be a little girl again... or I want to be a "grown-up" with a family and a good job. Hardly ever do I stop and thank God for the place I am in my life. Am I truly happy? Yeah I'd like to think so. I mean my life isn't perfect and I wrestle with issues just like everyone else but I am faithfully reminded that God has me in His hands and is not about to let go.

"Longing & Hope"

This first chapter of Plantinga's book "Engaging God's World" really struck a chord with me. I never thought about it from that perspective but what Plantinga said made perfect sense. We (have a longing to and) are constantly trying to fill our lives with meaning or success but, in truth, these longings are unfulfillable. Plantinga states, "The same is true of future situations in our lives. We may want a good career or a family or a particular kind of life, and these things may come to us. But if they come, they will not fill all our niches because we want more than these things can give.". That quote really hit me because I feel like those are my goals in life. I want to have a family, a great career and a happy life. Now the Lord may bless me with all these things but in the end, I will never be completely or finally satisfied. This is where God comes in... "He made us for himself". I also think that He created us with a void or longing for something that only HE can fill. To be honest, how cool is that?! We need Him. And not just on Sundays.. He wants us to include Him in every aspect of our lives. This is an encouragement to me because it tells me that God loves me so much that He wants something to do every inch of my life.

Longing is also an ingredient of hope. When you hope for something that means you really want it... and when you want something, you have a general longing for it. I really liked what Lewis B Smedes said about hope: "genuine hope always combines imagination, faith, and desire". To me this means that when you're hopeful you imagine the outcome desired, you have faith that it can occur, and ultimately you desire or long for it to happen. Hebrews 11: 1 comes to my mind. "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see". This says to me that no, I won't always have all the answers but that's when I need to trust that God has a great plan for my life (Jeremiah 29: 11). "To hope for your future is to affirm the life God gave you and the range of possibilities that it generates".

Growing up in a Christian school, we had to memorize the definition of shalom: the webbing together of God, humans, and all creation in justice, fulfillment and delight. When most people hear the word shalom they think peace but really it's so much more than that. Shalom is the way God intended things to be. Everything working together in perfect harmony. Over the years I've learned that in order to see glimpses of shalom we must bring the kingdom. Bringing to kingdom means to do God's will where ever that may be. Every time we do so, we are blessed to see what God has in store for our eternal lives together with Him. It's such an encouragement to know that God has a place for us. Along with this encouragement lives hope. Hope for an eternal life with God where shalom is  the only thing we know. I can't wait :)

"Bulverism"

In the first paragraph of Lewis' essay he talks about the idea of "picking apart" a rose. Before you know it, it's not a rose a all, but instead a scent in our nose or a stream of color sent to our rods and cones. Because we've recently "discovered that we exist"  and have freedom (the Marxist/Freudian view) it is believed by some that our thoughts are "ideologically tainted". The question asked is what thoughts are tainted and which ones are not? The answer: some are and some aren't. CS Lewis then gives an example of a bank account balance and goes on to explain that if you try to find out which thoughts are tainted by only using speculation you're making a fool of yourself. Futher into the reading we find out the actual definition of "Bulverism". Lewis' decription is "to assume without discussion that a man is wrong and then distract his attention from this (the only real issue) by busily explaining how he became to be so silly". In other words, when debating you don't need to prove someone wrong you just need to say that they are wrong because 'they're a man' or something of the sort. This sort of argument occurs so often that many don't even realize they're doing it. I agree with Lewis when he says that Bulverism is a truly democratic game that can be played all day without any headway in one direction. Until Bulverism is extinct, reason has no place. And to be clear, reason is not the same thing as ordinary cause. We need to have a good balance between the two. 
After much debate, Lewis states that something beyond nature exists. Also, nature can depend on will & reason which leads to the conclusion that God created nature (Obviously this is simplified). I also like the point that Lewis makes when he says, "Man is on the border line between the natural and the supernatural". It reminds me of the passage that says.. He made us a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned us with glory and honor. From there comes a short question and answer with CS lewis that is cut short.

After reading this and discussing it in class, I'd have to say the thought that hit me the hardest was the answer to how we should combat Bulverism. I agree with the response of humility and the strength to admit that our opinion might not be the correct answer. Those qualities alone can speak wonders about a person. I also liked the statement that we need to listen to others opinions, not just hear them. This is something I struggle with in my own life. I LOVE to talk. But I'm not a very good listener... yes I can be quiet while others are talking but during that time I'm usually thinking about what I am going to say in response. Being able to truly listen and care about others opinions is a great quality to have (that I need to improve on). Finally, I love the saying that explains how we need to treat EVERYONE like they're someone we admire. It's sooo hard to walk into a room and just respect everyone like we've known them for years and that they've had much influence in our lives. The one thing I've learned through this is that if I ever get into a debate, from now on I'm going to try to keep it "bulverism-free". :) 

 

"Meditation in a Toolshed"

I love the picture that CS Lewis paints in the beginning of his meditation when he describes the stream of sunlight shining in the dark shed. I can see the dust particles floating and practically feel the heat of the suns rays. As he describes that two points of view, I can picture myself in a dark shed of my own experiencing the two angles. Continuing to read, I kept asking myself, "do I look at or along?". The answer I found was that it depends on the situation. I don't think you can live a fulfilled life with only one or the other. You need both an understanding and a personal experience to fully appreciate the ordeal (no matter what the thing is). The order in which the two different types occur can vary from person to person. But obviously, the two ARE related to one another. The example Lewis used to show how you cannot live with just one of the views was pain. "A physiologist, for example can study pain and find out what that it 'is' (whatever is means) such and such neural events. But the word pain would have no meaning for him unless he had 'been inside' by actually suffering. If he had never looked along pain he simply wouldn't know what he was looking at". For me that's a very powerful point because who am I to judge someones life style or choices when I've never looked along? I believe that as Christians we are called to use both angles. 
One point that Lewis made early in the meditation kind of stuck with me... He explained that long ago everyone thought that "looking along" was the valid experience. However, over the past fifty years or so people have been changing their views. Recently, people have decided that those who "look at" things have it right. The thought that came to my mind after reading this was why the shift? Why did it change? The only answer that I could think of was the huge growth of technology. People put their faith in logic and facts. Any other ideas?